Ali Ballweg

I finally wrote up my testimony and have put it under the tab “My Story.”  God is amazing and all stories, mine included, however uneventful, is a testament to that.  I pray God moves in your life through it and others.  Please contact me if you would like to talk about it at all

I don’t know a ton about the US government, but in my diversity class I have been learning a lot of the truths about how messed up the US education system is.  I always knew that some schools didn’t have a ton, but I had no idea of the statistics and implications of the dramatic disproportion.

Disproportion… THIS is the problem.  The problem is not that there isn’t enough food in the world or that there isn’t enough money for a school to buy books; It’s that there are some people who take more than their share of food, and for granted, and that there are some schools who have so much money that they can throw it around on things like a manicured football field and international trips.  Disproportion happens when one person or group takes what they think should be theirs from someone else, leaving that person or group with depleted resources.  The people taking justify what they’re doing in many different ways, but most claim it to be their right and reward, completely ignoring the fact that what they are acquiring is putting someone else at a loss. 

And the worst part is… That I’m a part of this.  I take more than I need too and I try to justify it.  And then when I look really hard I see what I am doing and it breaks my heart to know that I’m breaking God’s heart because I’m taking from my brothers and sisters.  There are no excuses for what I do, just the truth which is that I don’t deserve any of what I have and my brothers and sisters in need do.  It’s not my right to have any of the things I have, they are all blessings from God.

All that keeps running through my head are all things that rich people should be giving up, but instead of being mad and pointing the finger, I need to look at my own life, as heartbreaking as that may be.  I may be a poor college student, but I am by no means poor in the whole sense of the word.  God has blessed me graciously, just as He has blessed every single American citizen.  Yes we complain about our corrupt government, but after looking at the type of rule and life in countries like Haiti and Mexico… We are so blessed for God to have placed us here.  Instead of pointing our finger, getting angry about the state of things around us, and feeling like there’s no hope; We need to stand up and DO SOMETHING!!!  If everyone just sits around feeling mad and sad, nothings going to happen.  But if people start making small changes around them not only will things start getting better, they won’t be feeling angry and hopeless anymore! 

Many people will nod their heads in agreement but then come up with justifications for why certain things don’t apply to them.  And that is because this kind of thinking is uncomfortable for them.  It goes against the flow… which is what makes it so revolutionary!   

I challenge you to take a long hard look at your life and praise God for all He’s blessed you with.  Because I don’t care what you say, you are blessed!  But don’t just stop there… Ask God to show you what He wants you to be doing with those blessings.  What He shows you might not be comfortable and you will probably try to ignore it and want to come up with excuses for not doing what He has called you too.  But it NEEDS to be done.  JUST DO IT! 

“Whether you turn to the right or to the lift, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.”  -Isaiah 30:21 

            This verse automatically brings to mind the image of something we did in one of my high school Spanish classes.  We were partnered up and one partner put on a blindfold while the other directed them using our newly acquired Spanish directional vocabulary.  Of course with it being high school, many of the boys purposely ran one another into chairs and walls.  It was very chaotic with all the voices and many students got confused about whose directions they were supposed to be listening to.  Some students though guided their partner very carefully by putting a hand on their shoulder and leaning in close to make sure the directions were clear.

            Do you have the imagery?  This society that we live in is very much like small area we were giving to direct one another in, it is full of voices giving advice and opinions and is easily overwhelming and confusing.   Which voices are we supposed to listen to and which ones are just going to run us into walls? 

Well, put yourself in the blindfolded person’s shoes and envision God as the partner giving you directions in your life decisions.  What kind of a direction giver do you think God would be?  Would he be more like the people who run you into things or would he be more like a steady hand on your shoulder and whisper in your ear?  Obviously He’s the latter.  Then who is the former you ask?  It comes in a variety of forms which include but are not limited to: Satan, sinners, your own selfish desires, and even people in this world who may truly think they’re looking out for you. 

In this crazy sin-ridden world, the only voice that is going to get us through safely is that of our Savior.  Many times the people and desires I listed above become so incredibly loud that we can’t even hear His voice.  And sometimes we simply think it’s a good idea to listen to our friends, after all they are “Christian” and want what’s best for us.  But I assure you, no matter how crazy things get or how good the advice of others may sound, God will always be there; a firm hand on your shoulder and a quiet voice in your ear.  It’s up to you to focus your attention on His stable instructions instead of letting the distractions of this world run you ragged.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”  -Psalm 119:105

Even after you’re listening to Him intently it’s not going instantly clear where He wants you to go, but if you spend time in prayer and in His Word, you will know what He is telling you to do.

Now go back to my Spanish class analogy.  If you clearly heard your partner tell you to take a right, what would you do?  I know I would probably slowly turn to my right as I felt in front of me tentatively and listened to hear if he/she was going to tell me to stop.  And then only after I’d assessed that the situation was safe would I continue forward.  I think most of you can agree that you wouldn’t take a sharp left and start walking quickly ahead.  After all, it’s not a race.

And neither is life.  It’s important that in no matter what we hear God telling us, we go into it slowly instead of just jumping in with both feet.  Yes it’s important to trust God, but if we listen to His words and then take them and run full speed ahead, we’re going to end up in big trouble; because now we’ve suddenly lost our guide and don’t know where to go from there.  It can be easy to get excited about the things we hear God telling us to do, but like any good thing, it takes time.  When we need consult Him every step of the way, not just when we have major decisions in our life, we will find a path that brings joy to us every step of the way.

“You will show me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”  -Psalm 16:11

So the moral of the story?  Listen to God’s quiet whisper in your ear at all times and you will make it through your walk of life not only in one piece, but also completely joyful.

“Do not pray for easy lives.

Pray to be stronger men.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your power,

But powers equal to your tasks.

Then the doing of your work shall become no miracle,

But YOU shall be a miracle.”

-Phillips Brooks

How often do your prayers center around something that would make your life easier, or at least prevent or get rid of something that is/would make it more difficult?  It is a very natural habit to get into and not entirely wrong, but as Phillips Brooks said, it does not make you stronger.  If you sit around and never face any trials how is your faith going to grow from that? 

Ok so yes we all still end up facing trials and we are taught over and over again about having faith amidst the tough times; standing firm in God’s truth and finding comfort in knowing that He works all out for good.  And yes that is completely true and should without a doubt be a great hope for everyone.

But…. I think we can, and should take it one step further.

We should not just wait for God to put obstacles in our way as a means for us to find faith to jump over hurdles for him.  We should search them out.  You may be thinking, “What is she crazy?  LOOK for troubles to get into?!?”  But I assure you I am not crazy, I am just on fire with passion for furthering God’s mission… Kind of like Paul…

“But there is another urgency before me now.  I feel compelled to go to Jerusalem.  I’m completely in the dark about what will happen when I get there.  I do know that it won’t be any picnic, for the Holy Spirit has let me know repeatedly and clearly that there are hard times and imprisonment ahead.  But that matters little.  What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meek know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God.”   -Acts 20:22-24 (The Message)

WOW!  Paul wasn’t just sitting around waiting for people to preach the gospel to and praying that when he did get the chance it would be easy and painless.  Nope, Paul was, with his whole heart, diving headfirst into God’s mission, disregarding any and all possible consequences.  Remember, not long before this Paul himself used to ridicule, to the point of death, people with this same outlook.  And then suddenly he was willing to be imprisoned or maybe killed himself for the purpose of the mission?  Yup, that’s Paul for you!

I think as today’s Christians we need to become more “Paul-like”.  We need to let Christ light our hearts ablaze to the point of us becoming willing to dive headfirst into furthering the mission instead of just looking for the easy opportunities.  It’s not going to be an easy transformation, but then again that’s not the point.  Living life like Paul did, in every single aspect of your life, will not be easy, but it will make you stronger, in every single aspect of your life.  Life is messy and in order to live fully, you must be willing to get dirty.

God Bless all of you in 2009!

Satan’s only power over us is that of deception.  However, believers have the ability to arm themselves with God’s truth, enacting a counter attack.  The key is differentiating between their voices.  I am not at all talking about the ever common picture of the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  I’m talking about being alert as a means to follow God’s will for you instead of slowly falling into Satan’s trap without even realizing it.  Because let’s be serious here, no believer willingly follows Satan.  So, it’s not just about big victories, it’s just as much, if not more, about every single moment.

“I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.  Save me, O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.”  -Psalm 120:1-2

There is no question, God is, and will always be there, to offer us refuge from Satan’s deceit.  But we must turn to Him and listen to Him instead of Satan.  It may not always be easy to hear His quiet whispers over Satan’s screams, but it can be done.  If you truly trust in God and focus on Him only, and first, right away when problems arise, you will not be deceived.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  -Romans 8:28

But it doesn’t just end there.  Say you accidently fell into one of Satan’s deceptions and God helps you realize that…  There is still a way out.  I have been learning over the past week that everything can be turned around to glorify God.  Just picture Satan’s face after he thought he had you, but then suddenly you’re back with God.  Actually I like to picture God’s face in this situation.  Picturing the huge smile I’m sure He has on His face after moments like this makes me smile as well. 

Remember to focus on God’s voice of truth, not Satan’s voice of deception.  And never give up when you slip up (which WILL happen as we are only human), because God is always there to help you turn things around. 

 God Bless!

What do you love? The first responses that usually come to people’s minds are God, family and friends. These are awesome answers and exactly what God wants us to love. 

But then think about all the other countless things that you say you love. I love ice cream. I love my car. I love reading. These things in themselves are not bad… to like… but should we really be using the word love to describe our feelings toward them? 

My personal opinion is no. Love is a powerful thing. I don’t think we should be using the same word to describe our feelings towards the one who gives us eternal life and our feelings toward something that we eat.

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers. Love never fails.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Look back on all the things you’ve said you love in the past 24 hours and then try to apply this passage to them. Doesn’t quite work does it? This is a good test to see what is really worthy of our love. Even if you don’t really mean that you love it in the same way as you love God, you’re still saying it. We need to mean what we say and say what we mean. Our speech is a big way of how we are perceived.

So, I have been making a conscious effort of how I use the words love and hate. And my proposal is for you to pay attention to your own speech and the speech of others for at least 24 hours. I have a feeling that after that love will take on a whole new meaning for you.

-God Bless

            I used to think defining moments and “big” moments were the same thing.  Then when I wrote the first version of Sitting, Waiting, Wishing I started to get on the right track, but still didn’t completely grasp the concept of a moment.  Today I can say that I sincerely understand the power of a moment.

            Erwin Raphael McManus poses a wonderful question the very first pages of his book Chasing Daylight.  He asks, “What if you knew that there was a moment coming, a divine moment, one where God would meet you in such a way that nothing would be the same again?”  Directly following this he says, “Moments are as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sands in the sea, and any of them could prove to be your most significant divine moments.  Within those moments, a handful will become the defining moments of your life.  However mundane a moment may appear, the miraculous may wait to be unwrapped within it.  You rarely know up front the eternal significance of a moment.  When a moment is missed, you have a glimpse at an opportunity lost.  When you dream, you look to a moment still to come.  The moment that you must seize right now is the one in front of you.”

            I find this passage (as well as this book as a whole) wonderfully put.  In the past I have found myself sitting, waiting, wishing for a defining moment to come along and change my life; for anything to happen to me.  I didn’t at all recognize that I was supposed to do the doing.  And so in the process of sitting, waiting and wishing, I have watched opportunity after opportunity float past me.  Only I didn’t see them as opportunities, divine moments sent by God, at the time.  We all do it, it’s only after that we see the amazing moments we let pass me by.  Sitting, waiting and wishing are not going to cause your life to change, keeping your eyes and mind wide open and staying on the edge of your seat, ready for anything, so you can grasp moments as they present themselves will.  Then you will change into the person you’ve always dreamt of being.

            The person I’ve always dreamt of being is someone whose life and actions make a difference in the world.  The things that have kept me from becoming this person are my shyness and fear of reaching out to others.  But as Helen Keller said, “Face you deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you.  Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.”  I have learned that being afraid of something that I don’t even need to outcome of is not helping anyone.  The quote I need to start living by is, “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.  All life is an experiment” by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

            Anther great quote is by Charles Du Bos and is, “The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could be.”  But how do you get to that point?  It’s obvious not just something that’s going to happen overnight.  You need to start making right choices, seizing the right moments, RIGHT NOW.  Because if you don’t, as Chasing Daylight says, “When we fail to choose, we choose to fail.  You cannot put your life on hold.  It moves forward with or without your approval.  Choosing not to choose does not put off the problem; it only exacerbates it.”  However just as not choosing makes a problem worse, choosing makes situations, and in time your life, immensely better.

            So I urge those of you who may be sitting, waiting, wishing for more in life, to stop.  Just as an essay never gets written unless you start writing down your ideas, your life will never truly begin until you start seizing moments.  I still think Robin Jones Gunn put it best when she said, “This is life.  This is your crazy amazing life and nothing happened today that didn’t pass through God’s fingers before it came to you.”  Every moment that comes your way is a gift from God, don’t let them pass you by, instead begin to seize them and then watch as your life begins to transform.  Good luck to all and God Bless.

I wrote this thought or devotion, whatever you’d like to call it back in June of 2007.  I still think it’s a wonderful piece of my writing and still believe what I wrote, but as I’ve been in the process of reading Chasing Daylight I have come up with another thought.  It is very different, almost the polar opposite, but it could just as easily be labeled by the same title when I am done writing it.  So here’s a look at what I wrote a year and a half ago…  And expect something much more amazing within the next few days. 

I’ve always thought of defining moments as huge turning points.  I’ve envisioned them as events like the death of a loved one, a near death experience, the diagnosis of a fatal disease, or a suicide attempt.  I’ve also pictured that these moments suddenly make life perfectly clear.  And, well, I’ve never had anything of significance importance happen in my life so here I’ve been SITTING trying to understand life and making no headway whatsoever.

           But then this afternoon something changed; call it a defining moment if you will.  I was talking online to Mitch and he was telling me to “Just wait until this weekend”, when I’m meeting up with a bunch of friends to go camping.  And then it just hit me like a soccer ball flying at top speed straight into my face; “Sometimes I feel like all life consists of is waiting for the next weekend, or the next visit, or the next break,” I told him.  His reply was simple but exactly what I was thinking, “Because you can’t go back, all you can do is wait for the future.”  “And waiting tests my patience, or lack thereof, every single day,” I said.  Then Mitch replied in the most curious way, “Patience is a virtue.  What does that even mean?”

           And that’s so so true.  What does it mean?  I’ve grown up hearing it repeated by my parents, pastors, and teachers and even said it to my Sunday School class when I was teaching them about the fruits of the spirit.  But what does it mean?  I couldn’t answer Mitch so I ended our conversation to go for a run.  I do some of my best thinking when I’m running so inevitably the question kept popping into my mind. 

          There are nine different definitions for the word patience but my favorite is, ‘quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence’.  The word virtue also carries nine meanings, with my preference falling to, ‘a good or admiral quality or property.’  Ok so it should be simple enough, “patience is a virtue” must mean that diligence is a good quality to have.  I could give Mitch that answer and he’d probably be happy enough with it; but I’m not.

          I’m one of those people who won’t settle with a cookie cutter answer, I want to know what’s behind the answer.  In this case, I want to know why God continues to give me patience even though I keep screwing it up and how he can have so much patience with me when I screw up.  But I think I’ve always known the answer, it just has taken Mitch presenting this question to me to get me to think about it.  It’s love.  It all roots back to that famous bible verse from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 which inevitably starts with ‘Love is patient, love is kind…’ and ends in ‘Love never fails’. 

So Mitch, ‘Patience is a virtue’ means that God loves us so much that he’ll always be  patient with us, even when we ourselves aren’t be patient with him or others.

But this brings me back to the whole “sometimes it seems like all life consists of is waiting.”  I feel like I’m constantly WAITING for something to happen and when it does finally happen I’m already waiting for something else.  It’s almost as if my life were a series of dots all strung together by lines that go all over the place.  The song Life Is a Highway sums it up pretty good.  We need to remember that it’s not just about the destination; it’s just as much about the ride.  And guess who’s riding shotgun?  God.  And while sometimes it may feel like you’re going to crash, he’ll always be there for you to straighten you out and get you back on track. 

Robins Jones Gunn states this perfectly in my favorite quote when he says, “This is life.  This is your crazy amazing life and nothing happened today that didn’t pass through God’s fingers before it came to you.”

Proof of this can be found everywhere I look every single day.  But one way it shows up in talking about waiting is in the saying ‘I can’t wait for…’  Because if you really think about it, you can wait, and you do.  I hear myself saying in my head “I can’t wait for this train to pass so I can keep driving”, but I don’t drive into the side of the train, instead I use the patience that God has given me to wait until it’s gone.  I’m constantly saying “I can’t wait to see you,” but I do wait.  If I couldn’t wait, because I didn’t have the patience God gave me, then I’d forget about my job and other responsibilities and drive to see the person right away.

So in the end it’s God who gives us patience, tests our patience, and ultimately has patience with us.  And as I lay here typing, I’m WISHING that he’d show other people how patience is a virtue and that defining moments aren’t necessarily huge and don’t give you a complete understanding of life, but rather just a sliver of insight that leaves you wanting more and keeps your patience in check.

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”  -Philippians 2:1-3

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.”  -Philippians 2:14-15 

We are to serve others without complaining.  How simple it sounds but how stubborn we are to actually do it. 

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”  -Philippians 3:7-8 

Because it requires giving things up.

“By this we know love, because he laid down his life for us.  And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.  But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?  My little children, let us not love in word or tongue, but in deed and truth.”  -1 John 3:16-18 

Not just saying we’ll give them up.   Or just feeling bad for those who don’t have anything or anyone.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  -James 1:27 

 But DOING something about it. 

We are called to help those in need.  I’ve been feeling a pull on me to do more about this and at the moment I’m not sure what to do with it.  But I do know this: God loves me and I am to show that love to others, no matter the cost, and He will help me in that mission.  And He’ll help you too.  

As a start, I recently sponsored a child through World Vision (www.worldvision.org.  I’d encourage you to consider doing the same.  If financially that is not a viable option at the moment, then be praying for the children and their families.  We have it so good, we can’t forget about those that don’t.

God Bless  

The first thing that needs to be completely and fully grasped is what Jesus Christ did for us- He gave up His life through suffering on the cross so that we might have eternal life.  Just think about the magnitude of that for a minute… How amazing!  I feel that many people take it for granted and go on with their normal lives just throwing God into the mix every once and awhile so that they can say they are Christians and are going to heaven.  In fact, that used to be me.  But just take a look at 1 Peter 4:1-2…

“Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin.  As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”

Jesus lived completely devoted to God, even to the point of being humiliated and killed on the cross.  Why?  Because He knew He was only this world for a short amount of time and ultimately because He trusted God.  Jesus set countless examples for us to follow, but this is the most important of them all- to surrender your whole life to God. 

“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”  -Luke 9:24 (NIV)

Which means:

“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.  You’re not in the driver’s seat- I am.”  -Luke 9:24 (The Message)

“Leave the irreparable past in His hands, and step out into the irresistible future with Him.”  -Oswald Chambers

“You cannot stay the way you are AND go with God.”  -Henry Blackaby

Surrendering to God means all of the above and so much more.  It means changing your thoughts, actions, motives, desires… completely everything and letting HIM have control.  This is what I’ve been doing and why I’ve been changing.  My life is not my own.  I am not living for this world; I’m living for my Prince.  You may be questioning how I’m able to do so- the keys are faith, trust and joy.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”-Hebrews 11:1

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path’s straight.”  -Proverbs 3:5-6

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”  -Pslam 16:11

Even though I can’t see God I know He’s there (“We live by faith, not by sight” -2 Corinthians 5:7) and I know that I will only have full eternal joy, peace, and life if I trust in Him.  Suffering will still come, but with God on my side I can find joy in it.  That sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  God is the only one who can fill me with complete joy and peace.  NOTHING in this world could take His place.  Two last verses to think on… Please let me know if you want to know more or if I can be praying for you in any specific way.

“Acknowledge the God your Father and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.”  -1 Chronicles 28:9

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  -Romans 12:2